As I laid in bed last night thinking of Philly Cheese-steaks and video games, I postulated that there might be a way to bring the 2 together. I sketched out an idea for a quantum computer that would be able to crunch the massive amount of data.

With the aid of a hammer, some duct tape and tin foil, I was able to construct a machine capable of processing the complex equations needed to determine exactly what sandwich correlates best to which game.

Confused?

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When I was perusing the intertron tubes I came across a mention of a game that revolved around unlocking achievements. I clicked on the link so fast my quad core processor groaned in protest.

For those of you that don’t know me, I have been in treatment for months now for my Xbox Live achievement addiction. Everyday is a struggle but the key is taking it one day at a time. But when a game comes out that is based entirely around unlocking achievements, it is virtually impossible for me to resist.

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The Marvel Vs Capcom games have featured some of the biggest stars in the Marvel universe. Everyone from Spider-Man to Wolverine to Captain America has had the chance to throw down with Mega Man and Ryu.

But as a comic fan, I can’t help but think about some of the amazing Marvel characters that haven’t been given the chance to whoop Tron Bonne’s ass. I have tried not to restrain myself to characters that I feel would make a great addition to the cast.

So hit the jump to see them in all their second tier not quite A-List glory.

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After surviving the giant traffic jam that is Seattle, I arrive at the Triple Door, ready to get my Bejeweled on. I’ve been practicing at home and I can almost get to about half of my wife’s high score, so confidence is high as I wait for the tourney to start.

I stretch out and do mental wind sprints to prepare my mind and my brain for some jewel matching frenzy.

I am wearing a suit in order to intimidate my opponents. They pretend not to notice or care, but I can tell that they are secretly terrified.

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“Friday Old Games” is a series of articles in which we review a game from the older generations of consoles, share why we picked it, and whether or not it holds up with time.

I have never been a PC gamer. When Half-Life came out for the PC, I was still rocking my Commodore 64 (which was just a teensy bit short in the RAM department). Besides I was too busy with my PS1 to worry about insanely awesome FPS games with pitch perfect atmosphere; I had some Battle Arena Toshinden to conquer.

In all seriousness Half-Life dropped with the force of a judo throw from Segata Sanshiro (which is equivalent to 10 megaton bombs.) It completely revolutionized the FPS genre. Everything from the graphics to the story to the puzzles to the combat pushed the genre in fantastic new directions. Even dedicated non-PC guys like myself stared enviously at our buddy’s copy and hoped for a console port.

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"Poorly-Photoshopped Representation"

If you could put your ear to the tubes that make up this internet thing, you would hear thousands of people talking about digital distribution. There is no question that digital distribution is the future. You can already download your favorite songs, books, movies, and thousands of games. In the future, there might not even be discs or cartridges. Everything will just download out of the ether onto some crazy futuristic device.

I am a Steam weekend deal addict. My PSP memory sticks are full of PSP Minis and old PS1 games. I have so many Xbox Live Arcade, PSN, and Wii downloads that I am a little embarrassed. I have nothing against digital downloads, but it seems to me from looking into the muddy waters of the future that a war is coming between digital and physical goods. (more…)

“Friday Old Games” is a series of articles in which we review a game from the older generations of consoles, share why we picked it, and whether or not it holds up with time.

I was looking through the rack of PS1 games and saw a title I had never seen before, Skeleton Warriors. There was no booklet and no back. All I had to go on was the CD itself, which featured a Skeleton Warrior. Assuming it was some sort of terrible fighting game, I grabbed it in the hopes of making fun of it in a FOG Review. I popped it into my PS3 and watched the barely comprehensible CG cutscene at the beginning and felt more confident than ever that I had grabbed a mediocre fighting game.

Instead, I had apparently left with a mediocre, side-scrolling beat-em-up.

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If Zombie Shakespeare were to sit down and compose a love letter to old school Legend of Zelda, he wouldn’t come close to capturing the nostalgia and joy that 3D Dot Game Heroes manages to convey.

3D Dot Game Heroes is an homage to classic Zelda. You and your fairy companion set off to save the kingdom of Dotnia by recovering six orbs and the power of the six sages. To do this, you’ll need to recover a legendary sword and then set off into various dungeons filled with monsters, traps, and puzzles. If it sounds like something you’ve been doing since 1987, well it probably is. However, 3D Dot feels more like a Zelda game than the last couple of actual Zelda games.

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As the economy continues to dip as low as Hermes doing the limbo, once thriving businesses are forced to declare bankruptcy and even close up shop for good. And so it went for Gamecrazy and its parent company, Hollywood Video/Movie Gallery.

I am no economist. All the economic theory I know I picked up on the streets listening to the Wu Tang Clan, so I can’t tell you if the the Hollywood Video/Movie Gallery business model was destined to fail as we transition into the age of Netflix and digital downloads. However, I am a gamer and I can tell you the loss of Gamecrazy hurts us all.

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In a real life fight, some people will scratch, claw, bite, and pull hair in order to win. They will use whatever tools will give them an advantage, regardless of how unfair it might be. These are the type of people whose first move in combat will always be the kick to the groin. These are the type of people that always have an over-shield in Halo or an RCP 90 in Goldeneye.

To some, they are cheap bastards, to others they are simply taking advantage of what the game provides.

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