“Friday Old Games” is a series of articles in which we review a game from the older generations of consoles, share why we picked it, and whether or not it holds up with time.

Back in 1992, id Software set the world (of PC gaming nerds) on fire by making the first in a new genre called “First Person Shooters”. The best part: Wolfenstein 3D was shareware, so it was not only legal, but encouraged that you give the first episode of the game to your friends.

In its heyday, Shareware was an awesome way to try out new PC games. If you were lucky enough to have internet access back then, you could dial in to a BBS and download the files, which I’m sure took days. If you were like me, it was a matter of going to the local mall where there was a brick and mortar store dedicated to the sale of Shareware floppy discs. You could then purchase the full game from the appropriate software company directly via snail mail.You kids these days have it great with your Steams and your Direct 2 Drives.

The Shareware disc of Wolfenstein 3D contained the first episode, which consisted of ten levels. Escape From Castle Wolfenstein, being the first episode and therefor the free one, is the best known amongst gamers. You start as a captured Ally spy, William “B.J.” Blazkowicz, who has just taken out his cell guard and stolen his Walther P38. You are searching through the maze-like Castle Wolfenstein for Operation Eisenfaust and overthrow the Nazi Regime.

With the full game, you would then head on to episode 2, Operation: Eisenfaust. You’d then battle through Castle Hollehammer in an attempt to stop the Nazi’s from unleashing an army of undead mutants. And in the final episode, Die, Führer, Die!, you fight your way to Hitler himself for a final showdown.

Why did I pick this game?

This weekend is Quakecon 2010, and I wanted to give the id Software guys the appropriate shout out. I have also been reading the excellent book Masters of Doom: How Two Guys Created an Empire and Transformed Pop Culture and have been wanting to go back and play some of their games from years past.

I only played Wolfenstein 3D in short bursts when I was kid. It was the kind of game that, had my parents caught me playing it, they would have likely grounded me from gaming on the computer in general.

Nowadays, you can play it on pretty much any device that plays games. I have been enjoying the iPhone version immensely. The touchscreen works much better than I would have expected for movement, shooting, and even changing weapons. You can even use tilt controls if that is more your thing. They also added a map that shows where you have already explored in a level, which is super handy for me. I normally have a heck of a time keeping track of where I am in these older FPS’s.

Screenshot from the iPod Version

How does it hold up with time?

By today’s standards, Wolfenstein 3D is incredibly simple. There are only four weapons (more were added in various ports), there is no aiming up and down (the ceilings and floors don’t even have textures because of technological limitations of the time), and enemies move along pre-prescribed patterns (much like in 2D games). However, the levels are well designed, the combat is fun and very fast-paced, and every level is packed to the gills with secret rooms. Like any good classic game, its comparative simplicity is a benefit, not a detriment.

Also, you don’t just get to fight and kill Hitler, you get to fight and kill Mecha-Hitler.

"Bomberman Act Zero 2: The Bombinating"

There was a lot of fuss made when it was announced Bioshock was getting a sequel. As a game, it is very self-contained. The atmosphere and story made it great, but also seemed to have wrapped everything up nicely. What could you even do with a sequel that wouldn’t ruin what the original game accomplished?

I am happy to say that I have returned to Rapture in Bioshock 2 and came away liking their dark, dystopian world even more.

Bioshock 2 is a FPS (first person shooter) with some character progression elements. It isn’t a full-on RPG experience, but there is some customization on what you spend your limited resources on upgrading. The world has a very retro-steampunk look and feel to it, and includes many science fiction elements that allow for the game’s unique setting and characters to exist.

In the original, you find that a man by the name of Andrew Ryan has set up his own personal Utopia in the form of the underwater city of Rapture. When you arrive, his Utopian vision has fallen. In Bioshock 2, you awake in Rapture ten years after the fall. Eight years have passed since the original game and thankfully, they did not try to find a way to have you once again play as Jack, the protagonist from the first game.

You play as the original Big Daddy, known as “Subject Delta”. The Big Daddies are the guardians of the Little Sisters; girls who have been genetically altered to gather ADAM, the magical goo that re-writes DNA and gives people crazy super-powers. After awakening with no memories of your past (because you are a video game hero), you set out in search of your Little Sister, Eleanor. You quickly find that a woman by the name of Sofia Lamb, who was at odds with Ryan, is now controlling Rapture and it’s deranged populace.

If you have played the first game, it might seem like more of the same when you first get going. The good news is, Bioshock 2 takes what the original did well and expands on it. Once gain, you will find audio diaries from various characters hidden throughout the game which reveal more of the world. They tell the story of what happened in Rapture, how things got as bad as they did, and also do a great job of tying the two games together without contradicting the first game.

To collect ADAM, used for upgrading your character, they have introduced an interesting mechanic. In the original, you killed the Big Daddy guarding a Little Sister, then had the option of either harvesting the ADAM from her or freeing her, which gave you a lot less ADAM. In Bioshock 2, not only do you have to get the Little Sister away from her Big Daddy, but now you can adopt her to temporarily become your Little Sister. You can then have her find ADAM sources, where she can harvest for you. The twist is that the Splicers, the people that have gone completely mad with the power that ADAM has given them, will come in waves trying to take your Little Sister away. It is your job to protect her while she gathers.

This new feature was a very welcome addition to the games mechanics. It adds a new level of challenge to the experience, and requires you to think defensively. Since you trigger the event, you have time to litter the room with traps, try to find a good area to defend from, and really kick some splicer ass. It also addresses the difficulty concerns some had in the first game. Since you quickly re-spawn in the nearest “Vita-Chamber” and Big Daddy’s keep their damage, people thought the first game was too easy. If you die while defending your little sister, you have to start the sequence over again since she retreats if you are defeated.

"Eleanor is telepathically linked to Delta"

They have also added some new enemy types that keep things interesting. There are new, stronger Big Daddy types, brute splicers that will hurls projectiles charge at you, and the Big Sisters. The Big Sister will appear after you have successfully dealt with all the Little Sisters on a level. They are super-agile and strong, and also have many ADAM powers at their disposal. They are Boss fights without being generic or cheesy “find the week-spot” style boss fights. The overall difficulty seems to have been cranked up from the first game. I found myself retrying some of the Little Sister segments numerous times before finding a successful strategy. However, the game’s “Easy” mode is a great way for new players to experience the story without getting so frustrated they give up on it.

While Bioshock 2 does add a multiplayer mode, I did not spend enough time with it to do a review here.

If you are looking for a great single-player shooter experience, something that does things in a fun and interesting way (rather than the old World War II standby), Bioshock 2 is a great choice. While it does tie in to the first game’s story, you don’t have to have played the first game to enjoy it. It does a great job of bringing you up to speed and expanding on the universe set up in the original. It does have a bit of a thriller/horror twist, so if you are jumpy it may not be for you.

This review is based on a the Xbox 360 version of Bioshock 2, rented by the reviewer.

When Valve first announced a sequel to their popular co-op FPS, Left 4 Dead, their was an uprising in the Steam community. Gamers were crying fowl, saying that Valve had broken their promises and their hearts.

Why isn’t this DLC? You PROMISED! They cried.

Some even started a boycott group on Steam that is currently over 30,000 strong. Never mind that the first random group member I clicked on has logged over fifty hours in Left 4 Dead 2, and the second random person I clicked on had over two-hundred hours in the main game and over eighty in the authoring tools (used for modding).

While I did spend a little time with the original, I never played it obsessively. In fact, I don’t think I’ve even tried every campaign, let alone finished them. Maybe that’s why the announcement of Left 4 Dead 2 didn’t get me up in arms. It might have something to do with being a console gamer or maybe I just don’t expect companies to do extra work on their games for no money, but the announcement of a full retail follow-up to a best selling game came as no shock to me.

Left 4 Dead 2 is best played with friends, even if you are playing couch co-op with a loved one and have two computer controlled characters. It is a game that was designed for the multiplayer experience; something Valve has had a lot of success with. While you can play solo with three PC companions, you are really missing out on what makes the game good.

The basics are the same as the original. You play as one of four survivors of the zombie infection (who are immune for some unknown reason) that have to fight their way to a safe house and ultimately attempt to get rescued at a big finale event. There are five campaigns with four separate sections, each with their own theme.There is the mall (a classic among zombie aficionados), a circus, the swamps, a huge rainstorm, and finally a parish. That might not sound like a lot of variety on the surface, but each area definitely has its own look and feel to it. Unlike the original, several parts now take place in the daylight, which somehow makes the horde even creepier.

Among the horde of regular zombies, each level now has it’s own “uncommon common” zombie type. These range from a Hazmat-suit-wearing enemy that is more resilient to weapons fire than to melee damage to a clown whose squeaky shoes will attract smaller hordes to your position. There are also a few new special infected, like the spitter, who shoots burning acid at your party, and the jockey who takes control of your character to try and run them into the horde.

If you have heard talk that this one is harder than the original, those reports were accurate. The AI has been ramped up so that the special infected will try to team up on your party, and also try to hit you with sneak attacks. They are also far more likely to show up in pairs this time around. The game’s famed AI Director, the system in place to adjust the difficulty based on how well you are doing, hates you. If you think you are having a really good run and things are going smoothly, that is the exact moment when it will smash you over the head with the proverbial hammer.

While the introduction of melee weapons sound like a small thing, it ends up adding a lot to the game. When you are surrounded, the enemies have a certain level of “stickiness” that prevents your character from running away. The more of them that are attacking you at a time, the stronger this becomes. The melee weapons are the most effective way I have found to take out multiple enemies at a time, and the best way to get out of these situations. Because of this, I find myself immediately replacing the starting pistol with them.

Left 4 Dead 2 provides a very fun co-op experience, and I really am enjoying most of the changes over the original. It may not quite be different enough for some players to justify the full retail price, especially if you were a hard-core player of the original. If you are looking for a game to play with your friends online or couch co-op, this may fit the bill. Just remember, that M rating is there for a reason, as the game does feature a lot of blood.

Has your doctor diagnosed you with “cursatitus”; a disease requiring your body to hear constant, nonsensical profanity in order to not die? We at WingDamage are here to help. While normally such an ailment would require the healing power of House of the Dead: Overkill, Bethesda has released their own brand of medication, Rogue Warrior.

We may not have a med school degree, but we’re pretty sure receiving a free copy of Rogue Warrior will, in time, cure you of the dreaded cursatitus. To enter, simply follow the rules below and tell us your favorite “G Rated” replacement for swearing such as “Dadgummit!”.

Contest Rules:

1. Leave a comment below and tell us your favorite “G Rated” replacement for swearing (example: “Dadgummit!”)
2. Limit one entry per person
3. All entries must be made by legal U.S. residents
4. Entries must be accepted by 5:00pm PST on Friday, December 18th. We will then randomly select one winner

Good luck! And don’t forget to check out our review!

“Friday Old Games” is a series of articles in which we review a game from the older generations of consoles, share why we picked it, and whether or not it holds up with time.

Due to overwhelming demand, a federal court order, and a purple nurple, I have been forced to go back and examine one of the crown jewels of gaming’s yesteryear, Goldeneye.

Before frat boys were learning the intricacies of system linking their Xboxes and Pierce Brosnan was the hot new Bond, Goldeneye for the Nintendo 64 set the world on fire (in a good way). Millions of gamers discovered the joy of shooting their friends in the face.

For many years, this was the gold standard for console first person shooters. To this day whenever people talk about it, they do so in hushed reverent tones. For many people, this was their first experience with a real FPS. I spent many a night trying to beat all the time challenges in single player, and many more nights were spent shooting my friends in multiplayer. I can still remember which character all my friends played with as my Boris rained death upon them.

There were a host of weapons that were unique and fun to play with. Ask an old school Goldeneyer about the RCP-90 and they will either smile nostalgically (thinking of all the times they shot their buddies with it) or punch the nearest wall (thinking of all the times their buddies shot them with it). Weapons like the Golden Gun and proximity mines are still indelibly etched into my subconscious. You can even place the proximity mine on the toilet for maximum comedic effect when you spawn in the vent.

The single player campaign had a host of challenges to complete as well as the ultra tough 00 agent difficulty. The gameplay was revolutionary. This was a shooter where shooting people wasn’t always the best course of action. Guards could be alerted to your presence and would sound alarms. Doesn’t sound like a big deal now, but at the time this was crazy. Most other FPS games consisted of “shoot everything, find blue keycard”.

The problem when you try to go back and play Goldeneye now is that modern games have moved on from Goldeneye’s particular brand of deathmatchery. A typical Goldeneye match would be a contest to get the body armor and the RCP-90 or some horrifically mean combination of the 2. Things like balanced weapon sets were unheard of back then. A halfway decent player with an RCP-90 will smoke a good player with a regular weapon.

Why did I pick this game?

In high school, Goldeneye was the game all of my friends, enemies, and acquaintances played. My entire basketball team would come over to my house for pizza, cookies, and shots to the face. I probably logged more hours into Goldeneye than any other game. I averaged at least a couple hours a day for at least a year and a half. No other game was able to get its hooks into me the way Goldeneye did.

Does it hold up with time?

Unfortunately, the game doesn’t really stand the test of time. While shooting your friends will always have some inherent allure, the genre has moved on. The crazy aim assist feels jarring, and the N64 controller really could have used a second analog stick. The N64 textures have always appeared as though you are looking at them through a thick Vaseline fog. These faults could be forgiven, but the core multiplayer strategy of racing from the overpowered weapon to the body armor seems completely ridiculous now.

The single player campaign that used to feel so revolutionary feels almost comical now. Part of the reason for this is what I call the rail glitch. Enemies cannot shoot you if there is a rail in the way. You can walk right up to a guard and if there is an inch of rail in between you he can’t shoot you. Now when I play, I realize I just spend my time running from rail to rail laughing at my invincibility.

Goldeneye held a magical place in my heart and it is tough for me to admit, but the FPS genre has moved on.

Rogue Warrior features Richard Marcinko, the real life creator and commander of the U.S. Navy’s SEAL Team Six, which is the Counter-Terrorism squad. His Wikipedia page reads like the real life adventures of John Rambo. In the game he is voiced by Academy Award nominee, Mickey Rourke.

The story sees our hero, Marcinko, taking out commies, 80′s action movie style, in North Korea and the Soviet Union. All the ingredients are there for some fun times, so why does the game come up short on the thrills?

A quick warning: this is one seriously foul mouthed game. I would keep any children out of the room while you are playing. I would repeat some of the lines here, but our WingDamage lawyers simply won’t allow it. So to appease our lawyers, I have replaced all those naughty swear words with the word, “rainbow”. Keep in mind, these sort of lines are thrown out approximately every eleven seconds, which makes for a lot of rainbows.

“This mission is a total goat rainbow.”

“Take that, you rainbowin’ mother rainbower.”

“Does the Pope rainbow in the forest?”

And that is really just a taste. There are phrases in this game so foul that even the power of rainbows is insufficient to dull the obscenity.

As you make your way through the game commie killing, you have two ways of approaching each objective. You can go in loud, guns a-blazin’, or you can sneak around with your silenced pistol and knife, quietly taking out guards before they are alerted to your presence. Some of the sneak kills are impressively brutal and over the top. You are not just choking people out, you are slicing their throats multiple times or stabbing them repeatedly. I am just sadistic enough to take a small amount of pleasure in these brutal killings. In fact, if this was the sort of place where one could give out smiley face stickers, I would be forced to give Rogue Warrior a big orange smiley face sticker for including a sneak kill where you stab your enemy in the taint. I have long been a vocal supporter of taint stabbings, so seeing my dream come to life was a thrill.

Other than that, the game completely falls flat at everything it is trying to do. The stealth doesn’t really work. Most enemies seem to be going out of their way to have you stab them in the back, since they don’t even bother to turn around as you sprint towards them at full speed.

Remember those over the top brutal stabbings I was telling you about earlier? Well, when you trigger one, you are invincible. You can literally run from enemy to enemy absorbing bullets, cursing up a storm, and stabbing people without much fear of death. If you do manage to die, you are greeted with the single most unimpressive death animation ever. People laughed at the death scene when I showed them. It consists entirely of the camera tipping sideways slightly and the screen getting darker and is over in less than a second.

The multiplayer is boring. The maps are way too large for the five people in the world that bought this game. It is hard to make it as an online shooter these days, since everyone seems to play one of three at any time. I doubt anyone is setting aside Call of Duty, Halo 3, or Killzone 2 for this game. It took me about fifteen minutes to find a game. If I didn’t feel that I had to play the multiplayer for the review, I would have given up and played something else.

The game also completely crashed on three separate occasions mid-face stab. Everything completely froze and I couldn’t even bring up the XMB. I had to turn my PS3 off with the switch in the back. There were also four times where the game completely glitched out and played like I was trying to run Crysis on a Commodore 64.

I imagine at some point in the development process, Bethesda looked at Rogue Warrior and thought, “Well, Brink looks really good. Maybe we should focus on that.” Rebellion, the developers, thought, “Well, Aliens versus Predator should be good,” and decided to focus on that. It feels as though someone somewhere up the chain of command realized that things were not working out, and instead of throwing a pile of money at improving things, they just pushed the game out the door.

I really can’t imagine why anyone would spend $60 on this game. Do you know how much pizza you could buy with $60? A whole lot. When the best thing about your game is the end credits and taint stabbing, it’s pretty clear that something in the development process went awry. Someday real soon, you are going to see this game in a bargain bin somewhere and you will think to yourself, “Huh. I wonder if I should buy Rogue Warrior.” The answer is no. In fact, if someone buys you Rogue Warrior as a gift, you should seriously consider whether or not that person is really your friend.

(A quick note about the end credits, which feature soundbytes from the game over a hip hop beat: WingDamage has a strict family-friendly policy, but if you are over the age of 18 and don’t mind foul language, I hear the internet is a good place to find it.)

This review is based on a copy of Rogue Warrior for the PS3 provided to us by Bethesda.

The airport scene in Modern Warfare 2 is the single most upsetting moment I have ever experienced while playing a videogame. Infinity Ward realized that the level might be too much for some people, so before the game starts a message pops up asking you if you want to experience this controversial level or skip it with no penalty. If you don’t want the level spoiled for you I suggest skipping this article with no penalty, until you have played it for yourself.

You are an undercover CIA operative working to infiltrate a very bad organization. The level starts with you and a group of heavily armed men strolling into an airport. Very quickly the men begin firing into the crowd.

My jaw dropped, as I realized what was happening. As they started to mow down innocent people, my first reaction was to turn and shoot the bad guys, but the game restarted the level telling me not to shoot them because it would blow my cover. I was forced to walk along with them as they murdered countless people. Some of them begged for their lives, others that had been wounded tried to crawl away, only to be gunned down.

I am no gamer saint. I have gleefully mowed down civilians in GTA and giggled as blood spewed out of the heads of pedestrians. I don’t usually think twice about killing little digital representations of people, but this was different. This didn’t feel like anything I have ever experienced in a game.

I didn’t feel bad. I felt wretched.

It was like a punch to the gut as it dawned on me that I couldn’t stop this. The level doesn’t feel like it was included for shock value or to create controversy. It felt like the developers wanted the player to feel powerless as they witness this atrocity.

I will leave it for another time to debate the question of whether or not a video game can be art. But I will say that there are very few works, in any medium, that have had the sort of impact that the Airport had on me. I was outraged, shocked, pissed off, and powerless all in the same moment.

Maybe it was a question of timing. The nation is still reeling from the tragedy at Fort Hood, and a level where you kill innocent people as they scramble to run and crawl away feels a little too real. I can understand why they included the option to skip the level entirely. I can imagine that for some people, the level might be more than they can handle.

2010 is looking to be even more amazing than we previously thought. Dozens of games that were supposed to be out in ’09 have been pushed back to ’10. Some of these games were pushed because of technical issues like bugs. Others were held up to receive a little extra polish. The rest were pushed back because of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

“Huh!?” you say with a confused look upon your face.

Well, Intrepid Reader read on to discover why.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is set to release November 10, 2009 and developers, publishers, and marketing business types are scrambling to deal with it. Rather than going head to head with the juggernaut that is the Call of Duty franchise, many games are choosing the wiser course of holding off until next year.

Even if you have never felt the call yourself, you probably know someone who has played/is playing/ or will play a Call of Duty game. Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare sold a bajillion copies (according to some guy I know) and the sequel looks poised to sell a bajillion more (according to some other guy I know.) Modern Warfare 2 is like the 900 pound Gorilla in the room, wearing battle armor, holding some kind of futuristic acid shooting weapon. It’s eyes feral and red, small wisps of steam rising from its flaring nostrils.

Publishers might be afraid to admit it, but they are terrified about going up against this well armed and obviously dangerous creature.

I am sure you have heard by now (or probably heard 12 times just today) that the economy is down. Video game publishers have access to all sorts of pie charts and bar graphs which let them know that, in the midst of this downturn, people are hesitant to spend their money.

Publishers find themselves competing for fewer dollars. When you are unsure about your job or your money, you might buy 1 game instead of 2 or 3. In this climate, your best bet is to avoid the afore mentioned gorilla.

What ends up happening is games get pushed back rather than going head to head with COD: MW2. This creates a ripple effect which causes other games to get shuffled around.

The last time this happened to such an extent was with the release of Halo 2 for the original Xbox. Holiday 2004 saw dozens of games getting delayed to avoid Halo 2 ,which lead to the great Spring of 2005 (which saw the release of: God of War, Resident Evil 4, Devil May Cry 4, Gran Turismo 4, and others.) I am not saying that these games were scared to go head to head with Halo 2, but the logical choice was to avoid the fight entirely.

Gamers will benefit from these delays. Extra time means extra polish. Extra polish means extra awesome.

Just remember: “A delayed game is eventually good, a bad game is bad forever” -Shigeru Miyamoto