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"Turns out it was his sled."

Are there any words that are as tempting and forbidden as “Warning Spoilers Ahead?” If you are like me there are two opposing forces that immediately begin fighting it out when you read those 3 little words. You don’t want to ruin the experience, of whatever is that’s about to get spoiled, but at the same time you want to know if the experience is worth it. What if what you find out is enough to make you think: ‘eh, this looks dumb I don’t need to play it.’ It is like jumping to the last page of a comic to see Batman standing triumphant, you are seeing a little teasing glimpse into the future and you know ‘hey, Batman makes it through all right.’

So why are so many people obsessed with finding out spoilers? Why are so many people obsessed with spoiling things for others? What is the expiration date on spoilers? Read ahead, but hey quick warning there’s some spoilers ahead.

Some of the best games and movies rely on the shocking plot twist. Would anyone have liked the Sixth Sense if they knew going in that Bruce Willis was a ghost? Would Fight Club have been as cool if you knew he was Tyler Durden from the start? Would Masterlookas have fallen so deeply in love with KOTOR if he knew he was Darth Revan from the beginning? Would Jonah have enjoyed the Chun Li Street Fighter movie if he’d known about the Cancer Punch?

There is a reason that they call it a spoiler, it literally spoils the experience. It sucks, it’s terrible, and yet many of us actively seek out spoilers or continue reading movie and game reviews even when they say ’spoilers ahead.’ We can’t stop ourselves. Often we regret it and yet we continue doing it to ourselves. It is part of that curiosity that is so uniquely human, even when we know things will end badly we still need to know.

On the other side of the spoiling coin you have the spoiler. This is the guy or girl who makes it a point to casually mention important plot points for games you haven’t played. I understand the draw in being the spoiler. I think we all have that little compulsion to want to scream out our secret knowledge, like when people were picking up Bioshock. I wanted to rub their noses in the fact that I knew something they didn’t. I was like a little kid who found out there is no Santa Clause and wants to tell the whole school. It is evil and fun to lord your knowledge over others, that is 90% of the reason to go to college.

So what are the rules for spoilers? How long do we have to wait before we can start talking about a movie or game? Can I ruin Casablanca (Rick tells her to go, that she would regret it if she stayed)? My friend, Hunter, tried to make a joke about Aeris dying as Masterlookas picked up Final Fantasy 7. Keep in mind this is a decade after the game had come out, but Lookas had no idea that Aeris dies. Hunter, in his attempt to make a joke, had ruined one of gaming’s best moments. Was he in the wrong? This is, once again, a full decade after the game had come out. Had the expiration date for spoilers passed? When is it okay to start talking about these things? The new Wolverine movie has been out for a couple months now and I never bothered to go see it because I was told about Deadpool and Adamantium Bullets. In this case, spoilers kept me from seeing the movie entirely.

I think we should all try to agree on time limits so that people know when it is safe to talk. I think for games you should be safe if the game is from the previous console generation. Is that too long? Should we be free to talk about Assassin’s Creed’s terrible ending without anyone calling foul? Should the rule be once the sequel is out you can freely talk about the original? Or should we feel free to spoil away and those slackers who can’t keep up can just suffer?

How many of you are now furious with me for spoiling a bunch of movies and games? How many of you are secretly happy with me that you can now skip Wolverine Origins and Casablanca? What do you think? Has anyone ruined a game or movie or book for you by spoiling the ending?

Tags: Batman, Cancer Punch, Casablanca, KOTOR, Spoilers, Star Wars, wolverine origins

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 at 9:47 am and is filed under Articles. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.